Games for children during wartime

Dear parents. Right now, you are the most important islands of safety for your children.

Therefore, your FIRST task is to take care of yourselves:

• Try not to skip meals (it may not be possible to eat three times a day, but let’s strive for that).
• It is challenging to sleep for at least 7-8 hours now, but let’s dream about it and organize sleep in turns (one sleeps, the other monitors the situation), napping whenever possible. For example, yesterday my little one and I watched the cartoon Totoro during the day, first in each other’s arms. I lay on my stomach, stretched out across the bed, put my fists under my head, and dozed as my little one walked around, sat on my back, gave me a massage, and hugged me. And so it went for over an hour. It was a great rest and recovery for both of us.
• We reduce our stress and anxiety (physical exercises, breathing, jumping, butterfly exercise, meditation).
• We reduce our frustration, find space to release tension and anger. So that it doesn’t spill over into our relationships with our children. For example, swear at the air (if that’s your thing), turn on some energetic music, and shout, dance, or smash something — old magazines, old sheets (they may even come in handy). Reacting in this situation is necessary and completely normal.

And when you are in a resourceful state, hug your children:

• Hug your children at every opportunity.
• It is essential not only to be active but also to simply accept hugs and relax in the arms of another. Not only to give, but also to receive.
• Touch, caress, play active contact games.

Get some oxytocin!

Here is a little game you can play with your children and the whole family, or with a few people
“Hugs”
Goal: emotional bonding, establishing emotional contact, feeling of support
Rules of the game: two participants start by gently hugging each other; a third person then hugs them; the next person hugs all three, and so on until a big “hug” is formed.
Instructions for children: “Now we are going to try to form our big hug, a huge hug for all of us. Okay? To do this, first two people will hug each other, then a third person will join them, then a fourth, and so on. Understood? Let’s begin!”

Before bedtime, give the children a playful pizza massage. This game helps to relieve physical and emotional tension and calm feelings of fear. Mom or dad (or another close person) massages the back as if they were making pizza. First, they knead the “dough”: they massage each part of the back thoroughly, knock off a piece of dough, then roll out a large pancake and add the toppings, asking the child what they would like to put on it. When the “pizza” is ready, it is sent to the “oven”: the person giving the massage rubs their palms together and places them on the child’s back between the shoulder blades. For a minute, they “bake the pizza” — keeping their hands on the child’s back. The area between the shoulder blades must be well warmed up. And then, sweet dreams!

During the day, to calm their fears, talk about it from time to time and normalize it: “It’s okay to be afraid, but I’m here, I’m with you, I’ll protect you.” Then offer your child a chance to play and let out their frustration and anger. At home, we make bombs out of bags and shoot at enemies. Or we smash bottles. Children, like us, need to release tension, so we play and give them an outlet for it.

Today, after breakfast, my little one said:
“Mom, I decided to do some chores.” He takes a watering can and goes to water the flowers.
I say to him, “Son, I’m so proud of you! Thank you for your help.”
He says, “I’m doing real work; it will destroy Putin because he doesn’t know how to do real work.”
So, everything happens for a reason. Indeed, my little one is right. And there is scientific evidence for this.
Our resilience and ability to recover depend on many factors. But involvement in important (in Ivashko’s case, real) things gives us a sense of meaning and control and strengthens the resources we so desperately need right now to fight and endure.
So involve your children in helping others. In real things: watering flowers, filling water bottles, feeding hamsters, and cats. For him, all of this is a step towards overcoming fear, strengthening his resources, and feeling an impact on his personal life.

My little one started leaving urine behind rather than flushing it away. I say, “What’s going on, Ivasiuk?” And he says to me, “Mom, I’m destroying the bad guys with the bad smell of my pee.”
How can we not mention Melanie Klein and the desire to destroy everything with his burning urine? You could say it’s the baby’s first weapon.
Interestingly, H. Leiner used the symbolism of “magical liquids” such as blood, semen, urine, wine, and water, as well as some kind of “poison,” in his symbol drama.
It is worth remembering that the roots are even older; in the field of witchcraft, there was so-called “contagious magic” (according to Frazer), which involved manipulating human bodily fluids for protection, influence, etc.
One way kids react to stress can be secondary enuresis. This is a sign of regressive behavior due to the loss of physiological regulation skills as a NORMAL REACTION to ABNORMAL EVENTS.
Well, you understand that it’s not just like that. It’s an ancient defense mechanism. It helps the child cope with events. And through this, the child expresses their fear and anger.
Help your child find ways to express this in play. For example, shoot water pistols, syringes, and make water bombs. And, as my little one says, we blame everything on Putin.

Expand your repertoire of games for expressing frustration and anger. Play pillow fights, have dart competitions. You can even roar with rage like in the game “Dragon Roar”:
Goal: to eliminate psychological discomfort and aggression and safely express negative feelings.
Rules of the game: similar to “Jebereesh,” but use the sounds of an angry dragon as a secret language. Growl at each other to “growl out your irritation.”
Instructions for children: “Now we are fire-breathing dragons! We quarreled, argued, and fought. What should we do? Here’s what: talk about it. But not the way we talk now, but like dragons. Let’s growl. I’ll start: “rrrrrr, arrrr, rrr!!!” Who will answer me?”

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